The Bi-gender Flag

Until I dove into being bi-gender, I’d never realized that different romantic orientations and gender identities had their own flags. It also never occurred to me why you’d want a flag for such a thing until this week, when I’m planning on attending my first Pride event. (Yes, I know, it’s ridiculous never to have been part of one before.) Suddenly, I realize that there’s a bi-gender flag, and I could wave it around, and there would actually be a chance of someone seeing me with it and pretty much fully understanding my gender identity just by looking. Boy, is that a novel thought!

Unfortunately, since of course there’s no central authority of queer people (what would that look like), it turns out there are more than one bi-gender flag. It’s going to be hard enough just to get people to recognize one flag on sight, so more than one design is a problem! Because of that, I’m going to only show the most common/popular/widely-accepted bi-gender flag here.

I love this flag: I picture myself bouncing up and down from the top to the bottom, with some other bi-gender people hovering in the middle, where the lavender is.

Unfortunately, as far as I can tell, nobody actually sells these flags. I am looking around, and I’ll update the post if I find a place that sells them. I don’t have a use for a big banner, but I’d love a flag on a stick I can wave around.

One fairly common mistake seems to be to use the Intersex flag. For anyone not familiar, Intersex means having physical characteristics of both male and female sexes. This is of course completely different from being bi-gender, which is having two genders (often, but not always male and female), taking turns and/or in some mix.

Bi-gender FAQ, Part I

Over the course of the past six months or so, I’ve been lucky enough to be in touch with several dozen bi-gender people scattered around the world. I know that doesn’t sound like a lot, but we’re extremely hard to find: not many people currently identify as bi-gender … though that may change.

Here are a few common questions and answers about bigenderism.

Q: What does bi-gender mean?

A person who identifies as bi-gender experiences two different genders. Often the two genders are male and female, but one or both of the genders could be something entirely different from either of those. Some bi-gender people move back and forth between genders, some move here and there on a spectrum between their two genders, and some mostly stay in one state combining their two genders.

Q: What are some examples of bi-gender identities?

1. A person who was designed a female at birth, who has had “top surgery” to gain a flatter chest, and who generally speaking feels mostly male but also partly female
2. A person who was designated a male at birth, who has male anatomy, and who moves back and forth between being female and male on an irregular schedule.
3. A person who was designated female at birth and who sometimes identifies as female and sometimes as having no gender.

Q: Do people decide to be bi-gender?

The short answer is no. Bi-gender people generally experience their genders first and only later are able to make sense of them. For many of us, our gender identity never made complete sense to us until we discovered the term “bi-gender” and that there were other people who were like us. As a rule, a non-bi-gender person can’t decide to be bi-gender, and a bi-gender person can’t decide not to be. Many of us have spent a lot of effort in our lives trying and failing not to be bi-gender, simply because it can be confusing, difficult, poorly understood, and sometimes badly-treated.

Q: What research has been done on bigenderism?

Virtually none. As of this writing, I’m conducting a non-scientific but careful survey of bi-gender people in an attempt to assemble some basic knowledge of what bigenderism is and how people experience it. If you’re bi-gender, I’d be deeply grateful if you add to our knowledge by taking the survey, here.

Drs. Ramachandran and Chase of the University of California, San Diego have studied a small minority of bi-gender people who reportedly switch back and forth between male and female involuntarily, a condition Ramachandran and Chase have dubbed “Alternating Gender Incongruity,” or AGI. However, it does not appear that AGI is at all common among bigenders. Of the dozens of bi-gender people I’ve spoken to, zero have reported having this condition. One individual portrayed in an episode of the radio program Radiolab who had AGI apparently suffered from a neurological condition and, when treated, experienced a gender identity shift to transwoman.

Q: Is it “bigender,” “bi-gender,” or “bi gender”?

Both “bigender” and “bi-gender” are used, but I advise “bi-gender.” It looks a little more awkward, but the term is unfamiliar to most people at the time of this writing, and “bigender” is too easy to read as “big ender.” Some of us may have big ends, but it’s considered polite not to consider this a defining characteristic.

“Bi gender” is a misspelling: it’s just one word, so there should be no space.

Q: What’s the difference between bisexual and bi-gender?

Bisexuality is a sexual orientation–that is, it’s about who you’re attracted to. Bigenderism is a gender identity–who you are. A bisexual is like a person who enjoys and listens to both hard rock and opera, while a bi-gender person is like a professional musician who plays both hard rock and opera.

Bi-gender people can be (and often are) bisexual, but they can also be attracted only to men, attracted only to women, pansexual (attracted to people of all genders), agender, etc.

 

I’ll continue this FAQ in an upcoming post. Any questions, complaints, improvements, or corrections? If so, please get in touch through my contact page. Thanks!

Are you bi-gender? Share your experience!

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It’s pretty rare that I run across another bi-gender person, and so far that’s only ever been online. I have yet to see another bi-gender person face to face. In case I didn’t already feel like a huge oddity, there was a great reminder.

If gender is a spectrum (as the research they talk about in this article suggests, for instance) instead of two or more completely separate things, then being bi-gender isn’t rare at all. Still, there aren’t many people stepping forward to talk about it, and it’s not well known. I’m trying to change that!

If you identity as bi-gender*, please consider devoting ten minutes to answering my survey about your bi-gender experience. The results will be completely anonymous, and you can sign up at the end to get a copy of them:

https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/M6JPRBB

Know a method of getting in touch with groups that include some bi-gender people? I’d be grateful if you forwarded the link, or let me know about them so that I can get in touch. Thank you!

* Identifying as bi-gender means that regardless of what you may look like or what other people may say or think, you feel that you are two different genders (usually male and female, but they could be, say, female and other). You might shift back and forth between genders or experience them at the same time or move back and forth in one direction or another. Only you can say definitely what your gender identity is.